Despite what is portrayed in so many Christmas TV commercials, Christmas can be quite a stressful and challenging time of the year for many families.
We all want to tuck into a lovely Christmas lunch and watch films we may have watched several times before!
Yet, for some separated families, this time of year can be particularly challenging.
It might be your first Christmas as a separated family. This can mean that instead of considering what presents to buy right now, you might be thinking how to minimise conflict and arguments with your former partner.
As a highly experienced family law practice, we are well placed to offer you some helpful advice to hopefully make Christmas more enjoyable for you and your family.
Do plan well in advance
As we approach the run-up to Christmas, the importance of early planning cannot be overstated. This proactive approach can help you take control of the situation and ensure a smoother holiday season.
Our advice is to plan well in advance and be ready to negotiate with your former partner regarding the visiting arrangements for your children.
Flexibility and a willingness to compromise can go a long way in ensuring a peaceful holiday season.
One of the most common areas of disagreement is when both partners want to see their children on Christmas Day.
Our best advice is not to be committed to the idea that you want to be with your children on Christmas Day.
Instead, be open to negotiation and be as amicable as possible. Perhaps the children could be with you on Boxing Day instead? This approach can bring hope and optimism to the situation.
Therefore, you could make Boxing Day your Christmas day and perhaps instead negotiate that you would like an extended visit after Christmas if you are not having the children on Christmas Day.
Don’t try to outdo your former partner.
It's important not to get caught up in a competitive mindset with your former partner. Remember, the focus should be creating a joyful and stress-free holiday season for your children, not outdoing each other on present giving.
We advise communicating with your former partner and agreeing on a spending limit for how much each parent is willing to spend on presents.
Sometimes, especially after a breakup, one partner might think they need to spend a lot on expensive gifts to try and “outdo” their former partner.
This is in nobody's best interests and can cause one partner to feel they cannot provide expensive presents.
This can cause a feeling of inadequacy and perhaps resentment that they could not be the parent who provides that costly and critical present.
Therefore, discuss whether each partner wants to set a spending limit. This way, you will not feel like competing with your former partner; instead, you will be working collaboratively as a separated family.
What if communication has broken down between me and my former spouse?
It might be that communication has completely broken down, and you are now in a situation where the communication channels you once used to communicate, such as WhatsApp or a social media messaging service, have now been blocked by your former partner.
You might now feel alienated, left out of the Christmas plans, and extremely worried that you won't be able to spend time with the children over Christmas. Remember, you are not alone in this situation, and there are professionals who can help you regain contact.
Now is the time to contact a family lawyer for expert advice on moving forward and regaining contact.
Resolving disputes amicably
Family Mediation
Many family law practices, including ours, can offer a family mediation service. In this service, we would take a constructive approach to mediating between the parties to find a resolution as soon as possible.
Collaborative Law
If communication has broken down between you and your former partner, you may think you have no option but to negotiate through the family courts.
As you probably know, settling a dispute within the family courts can be prolonged and arduous process.
Therefore, you might be looking for a way to speed up reaching a resolution that works for both sides, so consider using collaborative law.
This approach encourages all parties to form an amicable agreement as soon as possible, focusing on the essential topics that need a resolution. This reassurance can help alleviate your anxiety about the situation.
Sometimes, a resolution can be sought extremely quickly because rather than using phone calls, emails, and letters to negotiate, you will be present with your former partner to negotiate directly.
Negotiating through your solicitor
Instead, sometimes, just a single letter from a solicitor is all that is sometimes needed to break the deadlock and reach an agreement.
For example, there might be disagreement over contact arrangements during Christmas. However, once a partner sat down with the family lawyer, a letter was drafted and sent to the former partner to break the deadlock and reach an agreement.
If you encounter challenges with your Christmas visitation arrangements, please contact us for further help and advice.
We're here to help you through this challenging time and ensure that you and your children can enjoy the holiday season together.
Christmas is often a time for us to rest and switch off our minds from work, allowing us to forget about work and enjoy some time off.
The last thing you want is for the Christmas period to be filled with arguments and resentment that you could not spend time with your children.
Do contact our expert family lawyers today for further help and advice.
