Getting advice from your solicitor is a must, but there are some things that they just won't be able to give you friendly advice about: this article covers the bases of self care and how to protect yourself properly during your divorce.
Get a therapist
You are going to be an emotional mess for a little while, and that‚ perfectly natural. The only problem is that you need to deal with your emotions sensibly so that you can think clearly: divorce is full of huge life changing decisions which you cannot go back on once they are legally binding. As much as solicitors can advice you on the legal side of things, they aren‚licenced therapists and you can seriously damage your finances by calling up to speak to them every time you and your ex partner have another argument. An actual therapist, on the other hand, can listen to all of your worries and advise you on how to manage your stress in a constructive way. Their advice can be indispensible.
Educate yourself
You need to sit down and do some thorough research about the entire divorce process. You‚all want to keep your meetings with your solicitors tight and constructive in order to save money, and the best way to do that is to get informed about the divorce process before you go to speak to them.
Parents are forever
As hard is it can be, its best to try to stay amicable with your ex partner for the sake of your children. It sounds like a clich√©, but its fact that children will become resentful and withdrawn if they are forced to watch their parents fighting all the time- even worse if they are involved in the arguments and played off again one parent or the other. It‚also important not to mouth off about your ex in front of your children- it can damage your relationship with them as well as your reputation as a good parent. Keeping in mind whether their age is appropriate for this kind of conversation, listen to your children‚concerns and make decisions that will be in their best interests. Consider talking to a child psychologist to learn the best way to help your kid‚transition.
Don't try to take on divorce alone
Surround yourself with a support network of friends and family. Isolating yourself is the worst thing you can do, make sure you make the extra effort to check in regularly with the people closest to you. As well as making time for them, and getting the support you need for your situation, try to be a good friend in return: you might even find that hearing all about other peoples lives may help to stop you dwelling on negativity. Take the time to do nice things with your support network, like go out for meals or weekends away, and enjoy yourself!
Get copies of all your financial documents ASAP
Since it is impossible to know if your divorce will run smoothly and amicably, it is best to get hold of all your copies of the financial documents you, need for your divorce as soon as you can. This way when push comes to shove none of your documents can mysteriously go missing.
Don't file for divorce until you have decided what kind of divorce you want
Going to court for your divorce will set you up for a long and costly battle. Explore all of your alternative dispute resolution options before you go to court: consider mediation or collaborative divorce, both of which are offered by Alun Jones Family Law. Mediation involves a neutral third party who can help you reach a ‚Memorandum of Understanding‚that can then be passed on to a solicitor to make it legally binding. Collaborative divorce is when both partners have their own solicitors and communicate through these legal advisors to come to a legally binding ‚Consent Order,Contact
Run your credit report
In the emotional whirlwind of divorce it can be easy to miss things. It‚very sensible to remind yourself of all the debts you have, and also will warn you in case you are listed as an obligator on your spouse‚debts. There is nothing more stressful than hidden debts slowing down the procedures, its better to prepare for every eventuality so there are no nasty surprises.
Be kind to yourself
Treat yourself as you would your child: love no matter what. You aren‚ a failure just because your marriage hasn‚ worked out. Take the time to reflect on yourself- what are your personal goals? Try meditating or join a yoga class. Take some time to do something nice just for you.
Change your passwords
As much as you may want to trust your ex partner, sometimes it‚ just better to quickly change all your passwords- therefore taking any temptation out of the equation. Advice them to do the same, and be transparent about the fact you are changing yours. This includes social media, email, banking. All of them.
Stay off social media
It can be all too easy to take your dirty laundry and hang it out on Facebook, but try to remember that social media isn‚ a private forum- which means anyone can access it including judges who could be making decisions in your trial for you, as well as future employers. While emotions are running high and you‚ feeling isolated and insecure social media can also be a haven for bitterness and resentment to take root. Go completely cold turkey for a while; your closest friends and family will be there for you in person anyway.
