There are no typical rules for holiday arrangements for Divorced parents, the key is in communication.
This article will give you some helpful hints of what to do and what not to do to help you arrange holidays with the other parent in a sensible manner.
It's all in the planning
Don't forget the old adage, failing to plan is planning to fail.
If you know when you can and can‚have the children over the holidays due to work commitments or the children‚ commitments, then ideally you should be approaching the other parent at least 2 months before the holidays to arrange with them what dates you will both be spending with the children.
It would be a disaster if you both booked your holidays at the same time.
An ideal scenario would be to arrange all the holiday dates for the term a year in advance, so for example every January work out the term dates for the year and send the proposals to the other parent, therefore everyone, including the children, know where they are and what they are doing. This can take a huge amount of strain and stress away from all concerned.
If you are going to be taking your children abroad, make sure you tell the other parent the names of who will be travelling with them and the address of where they will be staying. This is required information which you will have to give to any parent with Parental Responsibility (see our previous article on Parental Responsibility).
What about contact while they are with the other parent?
Contacting the children when they are with the other parent has to be done in a measured and agreed way. You may be missing the children but they need to settle with the other parent and if you ring too many times this worry them and cause them to miss you.
An agreed time or day to ring will give them a routine and something to look forward to doing. Don't forget this works the other way round too. If you are on holiday with the children you don‚want their other parent ringing and upsetting things, it‚ also better to agree phone calls beforehand.
What if you can agree?
Firstly, agreeing to dates should be negotiated by explaining clearly your reasons for wanting particular dates and listening to the other parent‚ needs also. If dates really cannot be agreed, then maybe seeing a Family Mediator such as Alun Jones, could set you both in the right direction for agreeing dates year on year.
Secondly, if your former partner refuses to agree a holiday abroad and maybe is even keeping hold of the passports, then you may have to apply for a Specific Issue Order. A judge will look at the facts and determine what is in the best interest of the children.
Ultimately, keeping the situation out of court by negotiation is the best situation to go forward for separated parents and the long term welfare of the children.
If you need any advice regarding holiday contact call Alun Jones Family Law today, don't miss out on crucial negotiating time. We have over 20 years‚ experience in supporting parents to do the right thing by their children.
